I don't know when I've laughed harder of more often over the years than I have watching Mike Myers hilarious James Bond/sixties spy spoof AUSTIN POWERS: INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY. Myers has said that he has very fond memories of watching the James Bond films with his Dad, as do I. Maybe that's why I connect so closely with his send up here, which is done lovingly and hilariously. Austin is a shagadelic British agent who is cryogenically frozen and dethawed to pursue his greatest villain, Dr. Evil, who is ("Oh lets just do what we always do...") holding the world ransom with a nuclear weapon. Closely echoing the plot of "Thunderball" and many aspects of "You Only Live Twice", Myers writes a screenplay so loaded with verbal puns, visual gags and hilarious set ups that it takes multiple views to catch them all. As Austin is thawed out in the 90's in all his sexist, womanizing, free love glory, laughs abound. Michael York is a great straight man as Austin's boss Basil Exposition. Elizabeth Hurley is gorgeous and fun as Vanessa Kensington, 90's agent and daughter of Austin's lover in the 60's and fellow agent Mrs. Kensignton (Mimi Rogers). Dr Evil is also played by Myers, adopting the Nehru jacket, eye scar and white cat from Donald Pleasance's "Live Twice" Blofeld. Robert Wagner, Seth Green, Mindy Sterling and Will Ferrell all provide a ton of laughs. The classic moments are numerous and still quoted around here often. Dr. Evil: Scott, I want you to meet daddy's nemesis, Austin Powers Scott Evil: What? Are you feeding him? Why don't you just kill him? Dr. Evil: I have an even better idea. I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death. __________________ Austin Powers: Only two things scare me and one of them is nuclear war. Basil Exposition: What's the other? Austin Powers: Excuse me? Basil Exposition: What's the other thing that scares you? Austin Powers: Carnies. Circus folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands. ________________ Basil Exposition: [after Austin punched Basil's mother and attempted to pull her hair out] You have a lot of explaining to do! Austin Powers: I'm sorry, Basil. I thought she was a man. Basil Exposition: Dammit, man! You're talking about my Mother! Austin Powers: Well, you have to admit, she is rather man-ish. Basil Exposition: [shocked] Austin! Austin Powers: Well, no offense, but if that is a woman it does look like she was beaten with an ugly stick! We watch AUSTIN at least once every couple years. We know every joke and every laugh, and it still slays us. Austin gets an A. Oh behave baby, yeah! Followed two years later by the hilarious AUSTIN POWERS: THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME.

My all time favorite dramatic play on Broadway, AUGUST OSAGE COUNTY was three and a half hours long, brilliant, funny, harrowing, dramatic and exhausting. I saw it four times in the theatre and loved it every time. The writing is so perfect that it's like a masterclass in developing characters, natural dialogue and creating big laughs and gasps in the theatre. I'm not sure anything could equal that experience, but Letts has adapted his own play for the screen and Director John Wells (TV's "Shameless" and "The West Wing") has been handed a dream cast. Meryl Streep is terrific as family matriarch Violet Weston. Calling her family together to her home when her husband Bev Weston (Sam Shepard) goes missing, each of the Weston daughters arrives with their own baggage. Julia Roberts is terrific as Barbara Weston, the strongest daughter, able to battle the fierce Violet toe-to-toe. Violet is a pill popping mess, over medicated, under compassionate and ready to spew venomous remarks at anyone that crosses her path. Barbara is separated from her husband Bill (Ewan McGregor) but he travels with her, along with their teenage daughter Jean (Abagail Breslin). Daughter Karen (Juliette Lewis in her best performance in years) arrives from California in a Ferrari with her new flame, Steve (Dermot Mulroney). Violet's sister Mattie Fae (the amazing Margo Martindale) arrives with her husband Charlie (Chris Cooper-great) and their son Little Charles (Benedict Cumberbatch showing some amazing range) who is madly in love with the only Weston sister still at home with Violet, Ivy (Julianne Nicholson). Load all of these great actors and these sharply written characters into one hot, two story farmhouse and watch the fireworks fly. One of the best scenes in the film (and the play) is a nearly half hour lunch at the Weston home, immediately after a family funeral. As Violet goes into battle mode and declares that "it's time for some truth telling" the lunch escalates from verbal to physical confrontation in some of the sharpest writing of this or any year. There will be some that say watching a family this troubled cannot be entertainment. Others will say the cast overacts and shreds any nuance from the story. Maybe it's because I loved the play so much, but my only disappointment is that the movie is only 2 hours long and that's an hour and fifteen minutes of the play that's lost. The original version didn't have one wasted word, so it's shame the film isn't longer. The Weston family is profane, crude, bitter, hilarious, cruel and deeply troubled. There are moments here where you feel they couldn't possibly be any more twisted and then they find deeper depths of depravity and desperation to sink to before your eyes. If that doesn't sound like your cup of tea, run. If you love great writing and acting and very dark humor, don't miss this movie. It's a challenging and brilliant A.

1977 "horror thriller" AUDREY ROSE fails to deliver on either count, wondering aimlessly through two hours that lack scares and any acting talent, save Anthony Hopkins. Hopkins stars as Elliott Hoover, a quiet stranger who seems to always be lurking across the street from or nearby young Ivy Templeton. Ivy's parents, Janice and Bill (in dueling horrible performances from Marsha Mason and John Beck) go from concerned to baffled as Ivy starts to have horrible nightmares related to a fiery car crash. When Elliott tells them that his daughter died in a car crash and Ivy begins to answer to the name of his daughter, Audrey Rose, excitement ensues! Oh wait, did I say excitement? I should have said boredom. And substantial embarrassment for Mason, who would break out the same year in "The Goodbye Girl" but shows none of those skills here in a manic, BIG performance. Of course she is brilliant compared to the young actress that plays Ivy/Audrey, Susan Swift. She would build off this major film with roles in "Harper Valley PTA" and "Simon and Simon", hmmmm, they must have all seen this wreck. Hopkins rises above it all with a decent performance, easily the best thing in the film. Director Robert Wise must have been sleeping during filming, the man is capable of so much more. The ending is supposed to be tragic, I just found it a relief. Without a good fright in sight, Audrey Rose only scares up a D.

Every once in awhile a film comes along that's a triumph of sheer style over content. "John Wick" is a perfect example, as is its sequel. From the same director as Wick, David Leitch, the cold war action flick ATOMIC BLONDE is a terrific vehicle for Charlize Theron. After "Mad Max Fury Road", we know Theron can be an action star, but nothing can prepare you for her physicality on display here. Theron plays MI6 agent Lorraine Broughton, assigned to track down a fellow operative that's gone rogue as the Berlin Wall is about to fall. James McAvoy is the rogue agent, who may or may not still be on the MI6 books chasing a microfilm that gives up every agent in play on both sides of the wall. John Goodman is terrific as a CIA Boss, Toby Jones (Capote) is a perfectly slimy MI6 superior and Sofia Boutella (The Mummy) finally gets a great role as a young Italian agent who falls hard for Lorraine. Kicking off with fantastic use of David Bowie's "Putting Out The Fire With Gasoline" over titles that will remind film buffs of 80's flicks "Streets of Fire" and "Into the Night", the film slows a bit in its first 30 minutes, but once Lorraine is on assignment the film picks up pace and launches into the first of its jaw-dropping action scenes. All the action sequences rate a 10 out of 10. Theron escaping from a mob of bad guys using nothing but rope and the villains as counterweights is set to George Michael's "Father Figure" and the whole scene rocks. Lorraine's best scene is a long fight inside the stairwell and apartment rooms of a building from which she's trying to escape with a contact. The scene stands up beautifully to the Crazy 88's Kill Bill sequence and the train fight in "Spectre" as one of the most brutally staged battles in film history. Watch the camera work in this entire scene. It's amazing. From the moment the first bad guy attacks Theron, the camera weaves in and out of the action, between the foes, under flying fists and eventually into and out of cars as the stairwell battle continues into a street and a car chase. This twenty minute scene is an A+++. Its fantastic. It's one of the few times in cinema that the brutality and effect of the fight appears real, as do Lorraine's bruises by the end of the scene. Theron trained for months for the film and it shows. Spectacular. BUT....when the action wains, the spy story alternates between slow and confusing, before a very satisfying wrap up. Boutella and McAvoy are having a hell of a time, the 80's soundtrack with The Clash, Depeche Mode, Queen, New Order, Public Enemy and Falco is ever present and ultra cool. The visuals are amazing. When the credits rolled, I just wished that the film had been as good as Theron. Let's hope we see her back as this female Bond powerhouse in a film more worthy of her presence. Adult, profane, ultra-violent and exciting as hell, ATOMIC BLONDE is half of a great movie, but its lesser moments hold it back like Checkpoint Charlie. We'll give it a C+. But WOW those action scenes.....drop dead killer, just like Theron.

Director Michel Hazanavisius' "The Artist" is an interesting, sweet film, BUT..... This new, nearly 100% silent movie is a new spin on the "Star is Born" storyline with two people falling in love from a distance as one's star rises and the others fades. Leads Jean Dujardin and Berenice Bejo are very good, especially Dujardin as fading silent movie star George Valentin. The more I watched, the more I was drawn into the silent storytelling and power of the music and photography and the actors ability to make you feel so much without dialogue....BUT "Best Picture" nominee and 10 Oscar Nominations? Really? Hmm...this says more about the Weinstein's ability to lobby Academy Members (anyone remember "Shakespeare in Love" beating "Saving Private Ryan" for Best Picture....come on!) than it does about this quiet, little, well done movie. My other beef: how do you nominate Ludovic Bource for best music score, when the entire last ten minutes of score is actually Bernard Herrman's classic score from Hitchcock's "Vertigo"...movie music nerds everywhere call foul (consider me one of them). Best Picture? NO An enjoyable, creative movie with a GREAT performance by Dujardin? YES. I'll give the Artist a solid B.

A fascinating documentary about the music business, ARTIFACT takes a four year look at a legal dispute with some famous players and the broader state of the music industry. First, I have to say up front that I have some wonderful friends from EMI/Capitol Records, both past and current folks, so I was watching cringing half the time as the story unfolded. Oscar Award Winner Jared Leto's band Thirty Seconds to Mars was a group I had never followed and never heard even one of their songs. I was surprised how good some of their music is as it accompanied the story. My impression that the band was just an actor's vanity project was decidedly off base. Thirty Seconds is under contract to EMI and nine years into their agreement as the film unfolds. EMI/Virgin begins to push for a new album, the band pushes back, angry that they have never seen a dollar from their first two albums. Selling out stadium tours overseas and building an international following, the group is seeing zero dollars for their efforts. They are suddenly sued by EMI for $30 Million, a staggering sum that rocks them to their core. Cameras on hand to film the creation of their third album suddenly begin to capture what grows into an epic legal battle. As investment group TERRA FIRMA buys EMI, the lawyers take a nasty turn and both sides dig in. Jared Leto, his brother Shannon and third band member, guitarist Tomo Milicevic funnel all the conflict, negativity and anger into crafting their new album with famous producer Flood (U2, Depeche Mode). The music is good, the band members are charismatic, the lawyers are in turn hilarious and brutal and the film is never less than fascinating. Much of the former EMI senior staff are interviewed and most are in support of the band and their battle. It's a telling insight into an industry attempting to save itself (from an entire generation that doesn't pay for music) by clinging onto an antiquated business model that hasn't adapted to a digital world. You'll find yourself rooting for the good guys hanging on at EMI and the Leto brothers as they battle the corporation. The final facts over the closing moments are especially telling, especially juxtaposed over the huge, screaming crowds at several Thirty Seconds To Mars stadium shows. This is one interesting ARTIFACT indeed and it gets a pitch perfect B.

One of the most immersive, suspenseful and intelligent sci-fi films I've seen in recent memory, ARRIVAL is for me, one of the best films of the year. Amy Adams is Dr. Louise Banks, a quiet college linguist professor who finds herself recruited by the the military when twelve, 1500 feet tall alien craft park themselves about 40 feet off the ground and random places around the globe. On the way to the arrival site in Montana, Banks meets scientist Ian Donnelly (Jeremy Renner) who she will be working with to try and establish communication with the visitors. Forest Whitaker is Colonel Weber, the man in charge of the operation and thankfully a character that manages to avoid every cliche you expect to see in the film. The brilliance of the screenplay by Eric Heisserer and Ted Chiang is that it slowly unfolds like an intelligent origami, revealing pieces of the story that you need, but not necessarily at an expected pace or in linear order. Director Denis Villeneuve has grown to be a personal favorite, bringing his unique style to two of the best thrillers of recent years. The kidnap drama "Prisoners" and last year's crime thriller "Sicario" both bent their genres in half to meet Villeneuve's perspective and both films were superb. ARRIVAL does the same thing, standing what you think is a "Close Encounters" tribute on its head. Like Richard Dreyfuss' Roy Neary in Spielberg's film, you see most of the events through Banks' eyes, personalizing the massive global events. Unlike Spielberg's 1977 classic, the media plays a much more important role in this modern tale, as our 24 hour news channels spin every event into crisis and propel unrest into madness that threatens to destroy the planet without the help of our visitors. Amy Adams is excellent, conveying an amazing amount of emotion as we see her character displaying every range of confidence, wonder and awe one might expect. I WONT SPOIL any of the film's surprises by saying anything about the inhabitants of the alien craft, or the visually stunning sequences that take place within them. It's best you let them slowly wrap around you at Villeneuve's stately pace. The special effects are top notch. The sound design is incredible throughout. Composer Johann Johannsson's music is spooky, creepy and perfect. I'll bet it gets nominated for best score at year's end. ARRIVAL wraps its story lines around you like tendrils of alien smoke. As the film nears its conclusion, you come to realize that what you think you know will be challenged. What you think you understand will be upended. Dr. Banks uses every bit of her linguistic expertise to communicate with the visitors. If you watch closely, you'll notice that Villeneuve uses sound, visual cues and non-linear story telling to communicate with the viewer in ways you wont realize until nearly the film's end. I lost track of the number of scenes with two horizontal surfaces opening or closing to begin or end a scene. Like the access point to these massive crafts, they unveil many secrets within. Villeneuve is a master storyteller, and I can't wait to see ARRIVAL again to see what else he was telling me that I was not open to seeing. I'm betting my discovery will be just as compelling as it was the first time. Don't miss ARRIVAL on the big screen. It's smart, hypnotic and ready to open its doors for you too. It gets an A+.

If you’re going to watch only one film called “Arrival”, about alien visitors, make it Denis Villenueve’s 2016 incredibly smart thriller. But if you are in the mood for a smaller budget and more old-school take, you might be surprised by just how good THE ARRIVAL is from twenty years earlier, in 1996. One of the first films to use solely computer graphics for its aliens, it hearkens back to a day when its lead actor Charlie Sheen was known more for his acting on screen in films like “Platoon” and “Wall Street” than his off screen antics. Sheen is quite good as Zane, a radio astronomer who discovers a signal from a distant world that signifies intelligent life. When every attempt to let his superiors know about it quickly disappears and the others that know about it are quickly found dead, Zane heads off to Mexico on the trail of the signal’s signs. Once there, he encounters a conspiracy on not just a global but intergalactic level. You have to credit writer David Twohy (The Fugitive, Pitch Black, Waterworld) with a clever story and a sure hand for a first time director. The story is never less than interesting and keeps you engaged. There is more intrigue and suspense than massive battles or explosions, and that’s not a bad thing. Lindsay Crouse (The Verdict) is a global warming scientist following a different trail to Mexico that provides a key piece of the puzzle to Zane and Teri Polo (Meet the Parents) is Zane’s girlfriend, who is running out of patience with his constant paranoia. It’s interesting to see Sheen actually acting well, long before his spiral into addiction. You’ll root for Zane as he goes up against crazy odds. He spars really well with the late Ron Silver (Ali, Timecop) as his boss, who appears to have plenty of reasons to bury Zane’s discovery. The effects were cutting edge at the time but haven’t aged that well, more interesting now than they are believable, but at the time they were startling. Filmed mostly in Mexico, it makes great use of locations and strong photography by Hiro Narita (Star Trek VI). Any film that manages to weave killer scorpions, the Day of the Dead, massive hidden alien bases, giant gaseous fireballs, spooky marionettes and Charlie Sheen into one story has my attention. Surprisingly, it also has my respect! THE ARRIVAL gets a B.

I've seen Clark Duke around as an actor. The final season of "The Office", in Burt Reynolds final movie, a TV episode here and there. Somewhere along the line, he decided to try his hand at writing and directing, putting together a decent cast for his debut film ARKANSAS. Let's hope there are still acting roles available for him. Mired in some kind of false mythology that good ol' boy drug runners in the South have deep and therefore interesting loyalties, the film meanders from scene to scene with no real sense of story. Great actors are wasted. Vince Vaughn is a drug lord named Frog, hiding behind other identities and wielding an explosive temper. Vaughn is stranded by the material and deserves better. So do John Malkovich and Liam Hemsworth. Malkovich earns some laughs with some of his dialogue when he's being tortured for information, but Duke the writer suffers from the all too common "Tarantino-wannabe" disease. QT writes eccentric dialogue that spews forth from his characters in violent tirades. Often foul, fast and venomous, the words feel real. It's a style that's almost impossible to replicate and Duke fails miserably in the words he's given his characters to speak. He even adapts QT's habit of dividing his film into titled chapters. While Tarantino's chapters tend to be non-linear and very clever, Duke's tend to just reward you with the knowledge that you've managed to stay awake for about another 25 minutes. I've been to Arkansas more than once. It should sue this mess for sullying its name. And it was Arkansas to begin with, so that's saying something. A waste of time, talent and my time. This turd gets an F.

I have to apologize to Ben Affleck. I've avoided Gone Baby Gone, I skipped The Town. After seeing Affleck's newest film, ARGO, I can't wait to go back and watch them. Comparable in every positive way to Spielberg's "Munich" and Fred Zinnemann's "The Day of the Jackal", ARGO is a masterpiece. From the moment the late seventies Warner Bros. logo fills the screen, followed by a smart, fast history lesson on the USA and Iran, I knew I was in the hands of a great director. I can't remember the last movie I saw that was this fast, this suspenseful and this well done. ARGO details the story of six Americans who escape to the Canadian Embassy as the American Embassy in Tehran falls. CIA operative Tony Mendez, in a very good performance by Affleck, concocts a plan to sneak the six out of Iran pretending to be a Canadian film crew. Alan Arkin is excellent and hilarious as a b-movie producer who takes part in the plan by creating a lot of buzz around the fake film. John Goodman plays John Chambers, a real-life Academy Award winner for the creation of the Planet of the Apes makeup, who takes part in the plan and Bryan Cranston is Affleck's boss at the CIA. This is a great cast in a GREAT film. ARGO moves so fast and so brilliantly that all you can do is fasten your seatbelt and experience the mission. On top of being a crackerjack thriller, ARGO also makes you think about America's role in the world and the hostages in Iran as the flame that sparked the radicalized Islamic world we live in today. I predict Argo walks away with Best Picture and Best Director next year. It's very early in his directorial career to call ARGO Affleck's masterpiece, but it ensures I'll be the first in line to see whatever he does next. RUN to see this movie, it's fantastic, and my favorite film of 2012. An A+ for Argo.

ARBITRAGE is a really great film in the spirit of Margin Call. A drama that plays more like a good thriller, Richard Gere stars as a very, very rich man whose world spirals out of control during several monumental days of his life. Hitchcock was always good at casting dashing lead actors as characters that were BAD, but were often so charming that you found yourself rooting for them. Will Gere get away with his impulsive actions in Arbitrage? It's a suspenseful ride with a great supporting cast, including Susan Sarandon as Gere's wife who may be more calculating than she seems, and Nate Parker (Red Tails) as a young man Gere reaches out to for help in his darkest moment. Newcomer Brit Marling is really great as Gere's daughter and CFO, caught in her father's web. TIm Roth is a NYC detective who begins tightening a noose around Gere's world as it begins to slip away. This is a really enjoyable movie with a great cast, well directed by new young director Nicholas Jarecki. He is one to watch. Playing NOW in Theatres and also on iTunes. Gere's best performance since "Chicago". Power is the best alibi, and this is a powerful A.

Clever, powerful and a fun thrill ride, A QUIET PLACE delivers unexpected emotions while ratcheting up the tension for 90 solid minutes. The film establishes the plot perfectly in a chilling prologue. It's a post-apocalyptic world in which surviving humans are few. Nasty creatures the size of a bear but more closely resembling a mashup of the Predator and a crustacean are 100% blind but have incredibly good hearing. The slightest noise brings them quickly to you with a taste for humans. These are NOT George Romero's lumbering zombies. They're as fast as a Cheetah with a lot more teeth. John Krasinski (The Office, 13 Hours) is Lee Abbott, married to Evelyn (real life wife Emily Blunt from "Edge of Tomorrow") and trying to survive with their three children. Noah Jupe (Wonder) is terrified son Marcus, who has watched tragedy hit the family and lives in fear of it repeating. Deaf actress Millicent Simmonds (Wonderstruck) brilliantly plays daughter Regan. Independent, carrying enormous guilt and struggling with their new life, Regan becomes a core figure in their fight for survival. Krasinski also directed and does a hell of a job, slowly twisting up the suspense throughout. The last half hour provides non-stop terror as Evelyn goes into labor, the parents find themselves separated from their children and a band of nasty creatures comes-a-calling. I admit before seeing the film that I didn't think the concept was sustainable for a feature length film. Why the hell would I want to watch a silent horror movie? I was wrong. Thanks to clever story telling, VERY good acting, terrific photography by Charlotte Bruus Christensen (Far From The Maddening Crowd) and a killer, creepy music score by Marco Beltrami (World War Z, Logan) the film is anything but silent. But when it happens, the silence IS very scary. I really enjoyed this movie. It's well crafted, filled with people you'll care about and a tale well told. That "nail on the stairs" sequence feels almost Hitchcockian in its execution. The way the family uses those red lights is inspired and visually arresting. Krasinksi's performance will gut you. A QUIET PLACE gets some very loud cheers from this corner of the dark basement and gets an A. (now be very....very....quiet......)