A blood-spattered Christmas blender full of “Die Hard 2”, “Bad Santa”, “Christmas Vacation” and all things Tarantino, 2022’s VIOLENT NIGHT is a hilarious yuletide treat. David Harbour (Stranger Things) is perfectly cast as a Santa Claus tired of modern-day brats wanting nothing but cash and video games. The entitlement meter is off the charts while Christmas spirit has bottomed out. Like Billy Bob Thornton’s Bad Santa, Harbour’s St. Nick is fond of his beer and prone to spewing a little puke at the most inopportune moment. Just when Santa thinks there are no good kids left on Earth, he meets young Trudy Lightstone (a great Leah Brady). Trudy has just arrived at her mega wealthy Grandma Gertrude’s house for a Christmas Eve get together attended by her very greedy, money-grubbing relatives. Trudy’s Dad Jason (Alex Hassell from “The Boys”) is estranged from her Mom, Linda (Alexis Louder) who appears to be the only relatively unpampered one in the bunch. The film gets a lot of comic relief from Edi Patterson as Aunt Alva, who’s just arrived with her dumb-as-a-box-of-rocks B-movie star boyfriend Morgan Steel (Cam Gigandet). Alva is the ultimate gold digger, perhaps only exceeded by her obnoxious influencer, teenage son Bert (Alexander Elliot). Grandma Gertrude is played by Beverly D’Angelo (Ellen in Christmas Vacation) as a foul-mouthed, iron fisted ruler over the family fortune. That fortune is suddenly in danger when our bad guy Scrooge (John Leguizamo) and his band of Euro-villains arrive at the Lightstone mansion armed to the teeth and after a whole lot of cash. Leguizamo is terrific as the Alan Rickman of the Die-Hard bunch and Andre Eriksen and Brendan Fletcher are standouts on his crew, along with Mitri Suri as Candy Cane, a very lethal assassin. When Santa comes down the chimney of the manor, he finds some very good Scotch, along with the sudden realization he’s in the middle of a full-on armed assault. Watching Santa go toe-to-toe with some very bad dudes is unexpectedly hilarious. Harbour is excellent, generating a lot of laughs as the closest thing you’ll ever see to John Mclane/Santa. The fist fights and machine gun fire are non-stop, as is Santa’s bad-assery in dealing with the bad guys. Trudy’s walkie talkie that only works to talk to St. Nick comes in very handy, as do icicles, reindeer, and a large array of chimneys. Writers Pat Case and Josh Miller cut their teeth on two hugely successful Sonic the Hedgehog films and they’re clearly having a blast letting out their more adult humor in a non-stop barrage of profane one-liners. When Gertrude referred to wannabe superstar Morgan as “Jean Claude Van-Dipshit”, I knew I was in good hands. Director Tommy Workola brings a very sure hand to material that just shouldn’t work as well as it does. It’s relentless, gory, and flat out funny for adults. The closing scene even manages to generate some real holiday heart and emotion. Look. This thing shouldn’t work at all, but in the sure hands of a game cast and crew, VIOLENT NIGHT hits it out of the park. With a giant, blood-soaked sledgehammer. Ho Ho Holy Crap, I laughed all the way to a solid B. Move over “It’s a Wonderful Life”, we’ve got a new movie on the annual Christmas viewing list.

Movies in the 80's were a lot sexier than they are now. For evidence of that, along with one of the best films of that era, check out 1981's BODY HEAT. This was writer Lawrence Kasdan's (The Empire Strikes Back, Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Big Chill) first time in the director's chair and one of his best. William Hurt stars as Florida lawyer Ned Racine. Stuck with low level clients and questionable enthusiasm, Racine burns the hot nights bedding waitresses and nurses of an endless variety. When he meets wealthy local woman Matty Walker (a smoldering Kathleen Turner) his world turns upside down and he can think of nothing else. When they start sleeping together in her massive home while her husband's away all week, the two fall in love and begin to consider every possibility for their future, including killing her husband. Richard Crenna is terrific as her husband, Mickey Rourke is strong as a local arsonist that Ned once got off in court and an impossibly young Ted Danson is great as Ned's friend and fellow attorney Peter, who's sage advice arrives a bit to late for Ned. This was William Hurt's second big film role after "Altered States" and he's very good as a man caught up in love and willing to do anything for the object of his desire. This was Kathleen Turner's first movie role and what a debut it is. She's sexy, dangerous and clever. You can't blame Ned for falling for Matty. Kasdan bathes every moment of the film in heat, from the opening credits to the final frames, everything and everyone seems to drip in sweat. John Barry wraps everything in one of his best music scores, upping the temperature on the mystery, the tension and the sex to a fever pitch. Body Heat sizzles. One of my all time Top 100, it gets an A+.

A huge hit featuring one of the best selling soundtracks of all time, 1992's THE BODYGUARD hasn't exactly stood the test of time. Kevin Costner is pretty flat and one-note as former secret service agent Frank Farmer, now relegated to protecting celebrities after he was out of work the day that Reagan was shot. His newest client is cliche big-star, big attitude singer Rachel Marron, played by Whitney Houston in her big screen debut. Houston isn't a great actress but anytime she holds the microphone and sings, the movie is excellent. Too bad there aren't more singing parts..... Ralph Waite (The Waltons) is solid as Costner's dad and Bill Cobbs (The Color of Money) is terrific as Rachel's right hand man that hires Farmer, but the rest of the roles are very cliche and over-the-top. You'll see the bad guy coming a mile away. It's kind of shocking how weak the screenplay is by Lawrence Kasdan (The Empire Strikes Back, Body Heat, Silverado) until you realize he wrote it many years before it was filmed, before he found success (and honed his craft). It was written in the early 70's for Diana Ross and Steve McQueen and then sat on the shelf until 1992. Any movie that has unfunny hack Robert Wuhl (Batman) hosting the Oscars falls very flat in the believability category for me. "I Will Always Love You" is undeniably a great pop tune and you won't be getting it out of your head any time soon after watching the film. Unfortunately, the rest of the movie will stick with you too. THE BODYGUARD gets a C.

Brian DePalma created BODY DOUBLE in 1984 as his follow up to his previous three hits in four years, Dressed to Kill, Blow Out and Scarface. He must have been exhausted, as Body Double is a very pale ripoff of past works. In place of creativity, DePalma just slathers on sleaze, managing to combine voyeurism, the porn industry, graphic murders using giant drill bits and plenty of nudity into one rather boring stew. In one of the weakest leading man performances of the 80's, Craig Wasson plays down on his luck actor Jake Scully, a claustrophobic zero in the personality department who housesits an amazing home in the hills of Hollywood. His host shows him a woman in the neighborhood that puts on quite a show each and every night at the same time, which Jake begins to obsessively watch through a telescope. Like a very poor homage to Hitchcock's Rear Window and Vertigo, DePalma spins a web of obsession in which Jake is part of an elaborate plan. Unlike Hitchcock, DePalma never creates a lead character you care about, so the suspense is minimal at any point. A strong cast surrounds Wasson's cardboard lead role, including a young and very adult Melanie Griffith as porn star Holly Body, Dennis Franz as a director and Gregg Henry as Sam Bouchard. There are a couple of terrific scenes in the film, including an elaborate cat and mouse, dialogue free sequence at an upscale LA shopping mall as Jake follows the neighbor and realizes someone else is following her too, along with a beachside scene of Jake following the woman in danger, but ten minutes of great photography and editing cant save this bottom dwelling, nasty lesser entry in the DePalma catalog. We'll give it a Naked D.

A massive box office hit back in 1969, BOB & CAROLE & TED & ALICE stands more as a cultural artifact of a fascinating time in America than a classic comedy/drama. Elliott Gould and Dyan Cannon are both terrific as Ted and Alice Henderson. Successful, happy and enjoying their life, they spend many nights with best friends Bob and Carole Sanders. When the Sanders attend an LA Group Therapy session (as SO many did in the late 60's) they become almost unrecognizable people to their friends. Affairs are admitted to by the Sanders, even casually along with other secrets and they seem to be at peace with any decision made by the other. Their friends try to ignore it, wrestle with its impact on their relationship and finally explode with some truth telling of their own. Robert Culp and Natalie Wood are both good as the Sanders, but pale compared to Gould and Cannon. Writer/Director Paul Mazursky (Blume in Love, Harry and Tonto) specializes in films that feel real, not manufactured for the screen. While the 60's attitudes and settings somewhat cripple the film for viewing today, the jealousy, anger and romance are eternal in any setting. It's more drama than comedy, but loaded with great acting, including Gould's only Oscar nominated performance. If you can ignore the Austin Powers worthy outfits that Culp sports as a documentary filmmaker and Natalie's acting that bears more than a small resemblance to her last name, its an interesting comedy from another time that's worth visiting. Like more modern independent style films, it doesn't always provide answers, but it sparks interesting conversation. B&C&T&A gets a B-.

I can't profess to have seen any other of Writer/Director Paul Mazurksy's films from the seventies, but after enjoying 1973's BLUME IN LOVE, I'll be exploring the rest of his films. As a fan of TV's "The Goldbergs", I can only picture George Segal as the grandpa, so its a shock to see him 43 years ago as a handsome leading man! Segal plays divorce lawyer Stephen Blume, who finds himself in need of his own advice when he's caught cheating on his wife Nina, well played by eclectic seventies actress Susan Anspach (Five Easy Pieces, Play it Again Sam). When Nina moves on to a relationship with country western singer Elmo (a pitch perfect Kris Kristofferson in his fifth acting role), Blume finds himself battling jealousy. With each day, Blume realizes he's madly in love with his ex-wife, who he longs to get back. Mazursky fills the film with reality. These people talk like real folks, not in movie cliches. Blume himself is deeply flawed, but Segal makes him so likeable that its impossible not to root for him. Mazursky frames the entire film with Blume's visit alone to Venice, where we see flashbacks of his and Nina's trips there for their honeymoon. Shelley Winters is funny as a wife who comes in and out of Blume's active client list more than once and Mazursky himself has a nice turn as Blume's partner in the law firm. Marsha Mason nails her first film role as Blume's friend with benefits, four years before her breakout in "The Goodbye Girl". There's great depth in her performance as a woman who knows the shelf life of her romance is short. Smart, slow, funny and not interested in a traditional romantic comedy/drama story flow, the film thrives with Segal front and center. He's a terrific actor and holds your attention every moment he's on screen. The arc of his interactions with Elmo is hilarious to watch. A seventies classic, Blume gets an appreciative B.

Sure to win this year's Academy Award for Best Actress, Cate Blanchett OWNS the beautifully written and difficult role of BLUE JASMINE. A wealthy Fifth Avenue socialite married to financial manager Hal (Alec Baldwin, terrific) she watches her entire world collapse when Hal's Madoff-like money schemes collapse. The film flashes back and forth in time as Jasmine moves in with her paycheck-to-paycheck sister Ginger (Sally Hawkins) in San Francisco. By seeing both Jasmine's former life and her current attempted adjustment to an unprivileged life, you gain empathy for her, while wrestling with her underlying values. Writer/Director Woody Allen is at the top of his game with a film that's rarely funny but often very powerful. Allen's genius isn't just for writing, but for offbeat casting that surprises you. Consider: Andrew Dice Clay, shockingly good as Ginger's ex-husband that lost his one shot at wealth due to Hal's schemes. Clay isn't just okay, he's terrific, especially in one key dramatic scene near the end of the film. Louis C.K. is also very good in a dramatic role as Ginger's fling, Bobby Cannavale is his usual powerhouse as Ginger's current boyfriend and Peter Sarsgaard is strong as a new man who has fallen in love with the woman Jasmine is pretending to be. The film runs very deep with themes of who people are beneath the surface, class, family relationships and what makes people happy. It's beautifully written, perfectly acted and one of Woody's all time best. Blanchett is amazing. Her Jasmine will infuriate you, break your heart, inspire empathy, pity and revulsion. It's a powerful performance in a terrific film. Jasmine gets a very blue A.

I keep hearing that I need to read Michael Connelly books, but if all of his mysteries are as easy to figure out as 2002's BLOODWORK, I'm going to need more convincing. Clint Eastwood plays retired FBI profiler Terry McCaleb. It's two years after a heart attack and two months after his heart transplant surgery when the serial killer he was chasing reemerges. To complicate matters, the sister of the killer's last victim Gracialla (Wanda De Jesus) approaches him and tells him that Terry is carrying around her heart. He received it the day she was murdered. McCaleb is drawn back into the case and the deeper he digs, the more targeted the last two murders appear to be. Eastwood is reliably good in the role, willing to look tired and battling for every ounce of strength. But most of his supporting cast is pretty bad. Angelica Huston is one-note as his heart surgeon, Dylan Walsh is wasted as a detective and comedian Paul Rodriquez is horrible as another detective. He's not a good actor and plays every scene like he's in a slapstick comedy. It's really embarrassing. Jeff Daniels fares better as a beach bum two boats down from the boat Terry lives on in Southern California. But here's the problem. I figured out the big twist of the killer's identity about an hour in. The hardest clue is presented on the level of a third grade word jumble. Screenwriter Brian Helgeland (LA Confidential, Man on Fire) is typically great, but he seems on cruise control here. Helgeland and Eastwood would reunite the following year for "Mystic River". This was Eastwood's last film as a detective and he gets in some decent action scenes, including a pump shotgun standoff against a suspicious car and the opening chase scene. By the end resolve, BLOODWORK emerges as middle-of-the-road Eastwood, but still entertaining as Eastwood begins to explore an aging character study, something many of his fellow actors refused to do. It turns out that the results of this BLOODWORK aren't nearly as interesting as they try to be, earning a C+. Rodriguez is just horrible. He never appeared in a big budget film again. Unless you count 2008's "Beverly Hills Chihuahua"....I don't.

The 1984 film debut of brilliant filmmakers Joel and Ethan Coen, BLOOD SIMPLE oozes the visual style, wit and storytelling flair that would become their trademark in later films like "Fargo" and "No Country For Old Men". Dan Hedaya stars as a Julian, a Texas bar owner that hires a sleazy private eye named Loren Visser to keep an eye on his wife. M. Emmet Walsh plays Visser as an overbearing, too happy oaf all too happy to catch people at their worst. Coen brothers favorite Frances McDormand is great in one of her first film roles as Julian's wife Abby. Abby is having a torrid affair with bartender Ray, played well by 80's everyman John Getz. When the private eye decides to take matters into his own hands for a bigger payday, the Coens spin the tale you THINK you know into something much more twisted. Like classic Hitchcock with a modern bloody twist and buckets of black humor, our characters are soon doing things based on what they think they know versus reality. Like Christopher Nolan's "The Prestige" only at the end or even with repeat viewings do you realize all the layers of hidden motivation behind these dusty Texas folks with a lot of secrets. It's violent, smart, funny and suspenseful. There's nothing simple about storytelling this masterful. The Coens came out of the gate strong and their debut gets an A.

Reinventing the 80's sex comedy's like "Porky's" but flipping them on their heads for today's perspective, BLOCKERS delivers plenty of raunchy laughs. When three sets of parents find out their daughters all plan to lose their virginity on prom night, they mobilize into action to stop them at all costs. Well, at least two of them do. Single mom Lisa (Leslie Mann), hilariously emotional Mitchell (John Cena) and divorced absentee Dad Hunter (Ike Barinholtz) hit the road together to track down the girls. Mann and Cena are damn funny as they go into war mode to stop their daughters, while Barinholtz provides a lot of laughs and some heart as he wrestles with supporting her or panicking. First time director Kay Cannon wrote the Pitch Perfect movies and brings a lot of fun, cranking up the humor to definite R-rated levels. The three girls are all well cast, with Kathryn Newton (Three Billboards, Big Little Lies) leading the pack, the hilarious Geraldine Viswanathan at her side and Gideon Adlon in perfect eye rolling mode. This is one of those modern comedies where the physical comedy escalates into both raunch and improbable levels of absurdity, but there are plenty of laughs. It sinks into a finale that feels a bit too schmaltzy and "lets wrap up a sitcom episode in 5 minutes" familiar, but Cena and Mann are at the top of their comedy game and Gary Cole (Veep, Office Space) provides some very adult laughs as the parents come full circle with their parents. Not for the easily offended, BLOCKERS is a funny, lightweight throwback to those frank 80's sex comedies like "Risky Business" and "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" and "Bachelor Party". Not good enough to be mentioned alongside the first two of those, its still funny enough to get a B-. You'll never think of Hide & Seek in quite the same way again...LOL

BLUE THUNDER is a classic action flick from 1983, with Roy Scheider and Malcolm McDowell battling over the skies of downtown LA in police helicopters. Scheider stars as Frank Murphy, a great pilot with a bad attitude and the requisite eighties flashbacks to Vietnam. Even though he's constantly in hot water with his boss, Captain Braddock (played in great style and humor by the terrific Warren Oates) he is chosen to test pilot the new police surviellance helicopter dubbed Blue Thunder. He and his co-pilot, played by a young, very good Daniel Stern, soon find themselves in over their heads in a conspiracy involving the copter and its use in urban neighborhoods. Director John Badham (Saturday Night Fever, WarGames) keeps things fast, action-packed and exciting throughout and baddie Malcolm McDowell is a lot of fun to hate in his role as Murphy's adversary with a lot riding on Blue Thunder. Sit back, turn your brain off and have a good time with this early 80's hit. It thunders, peeks, shoots, listens and hovers its way to a solid B.

Back in 1966, long before the benefits of computer generated special effects, THE BLUE MAX put on a great aerial effects show. George Peppard (who looks like a movie star, but seems awful flat on the big screen) stars as Bruno Stachel. Stachel grew up simply but now finds himself in the premiere WWI flying group with many pilots groomed from aristocracy and success. His goal is the Blue Max, German's highest medal of honor earned for downing 20 enemy planes. He will stop at nothing and no one to get it. James Mason is great as a General and Ursula Andress is Mason's gorgeous wife, who falls into Peppard's flight path. The Blue Max is a 60's war classic. It's sometimes slow, but never boring, the air sequences are very well done and set to Jerry Goldsmith's great music. It must have been bold back in '66 to center a big film around an anti-hero and it plays well today. We'll award a B to The Blue Max.