If horror films were graded by the difficulty of their mysteries, YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT would fall into the level of a First Grader's abilities.
I figured out several key plot points and secrets in the first 5 minutes.
And I wasn't even trying.....
Kevin Bacon stars as Theo, wealthy banker with a Dateline episode worthy, murder suspect past. His much younger wife Susanna (Amanda Seyfried) is a movie star, but I couldn't tell if she was making porn movies or B pictures or blockbusters. The film doesnt seem to care, so I guess I shouldn't be bothered, but I'm guessing bad B-movies.
Theo and Susanna book an Air BNB Luxury mansion in the Wales countryside to get away, bringing their cute daughter Ella (Avery Essex) with them.
The countryside is gorgeous and serene. But the house looms like some uber-modern, square and glass behemoth. Picture the house from "Parasite" minus any curb appeal.
Almost immediately, Theo's nightmares turn ugly and Ella starts seeing menacing shadows.
Writer David Koepp has written some of the biggest films of the past 30 years, including "Jurassic Park", "Mission Impossible" and Sam Raimi's 'Spiderman". But he seems buried in cliches, relying on an undeniably spooky sound mix and jump scares to give you some chills. When his story does take an interesting turn by making the home itself a character, it's all set up and no pay off.
Rooms that are bigger inside than they are outside? Doors that appear and vanish? Hallways that appear to go into other levels of the house? Cool! But once you set those pieces up, DO something with them!
Koepp is directing here too and that seems to always be a mistake. His last film was "Mordecai" with Johnny Depp. I rest my case.
Bacon and Seyfried are great actors and are capable of much more. Seyfried is especially wasted, portraying a character that seems to exist only to annoy her husband.
Bacon is best at his most terrified moments, usually trying to protect his daughter, but once I had figured out the key plot device before the main titles even came on, it unloaded Bacon's bag of tricks, making the finale a bit of a snooze.
Predictable, pretty creepy in a couple spots but never really scary, YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT should be re-titled YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE RENTED ME. I got suckered. It gets a C-
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