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The Marvels

Updated: Jan 29


THE MARVELS is a mildly enjoyable, perfectly unnecessary final entry in the old Marvel universe, which makes its intriguing post-end credits sequence a complete waste.

The last Marvel film under the old regime, audiences shunned the film, making it the biggest flop in Marvel history.

Brie Larson seems more at ease in the role of Carol Danvers this time around and Teyonah Parris is fine as Captain Rambeau, coasting nicely on the goodwill she built up in "WandaVision".

It's the youngest member of the cast, Iman Vellani that steals the show as Kamala Khan, the teenage star of "Ms. Marvel" on Disney+. I've never seen the show but am inspired to after watching Vellani nail every punch and every punchline.

The trio are saddled with a plot that drips Marvel exhaustion. Destabilized universes and wormholes serve as plot points.....again.

A villain, Dar-Benn (Zawe Ashton, given little to do) wants revenge against Captain Marvel for destroying her world so she's opening up time jump portals and sucking the best part of different planets back to her own.

Want an ocean, lets suck this one up here and shop that other planet for fresh air.

It's supposed to be awe inspiring but isn't much scarier than "The Black Hole" way back in Disney's pre CGI days in 1979.

This is the shortest film in the entire Marvel line-up, but it doesn't always feel like it.

There are redeeming factors, including Samuel L. Jackson, still fresh and funny as Nick Fury after many years. He generates a lot of laughs and still knows his way around hand-to-hand combat.

Zenobria Shroff (The Big Sick) is hilarious as Kamala's mom. It's hard to be a helicopter parent from across the universe, but she's damn funny trying.

Tessa Thompson makes a welcome, short appearance as Valkyrie, staying just long enough to remind you of much better Marvel movies in the past.

Goose the hungry cat thing is back and has quite the appetite.

Fury's plan to evacuate all the crew off that space station is clever and very funny, including the full volume Andrew Lloyd Webber ballad that perfectly plays over it.

But the emotional moments are never earned, villains aren't ever really allowed to be villains (since everyone must have some emotional baggage to justify their genocide???), the trading places shtick gets old fast and a visit to a planet where everyone communicates in song is completely wasted.

So much potential humor left on the table in an effort to get to the next battle, which looks just like every other battle ever seen in a Marvel universe film.

Marvel needs to rethink and lean in on their characters.

Remember the early IronMan films, or the first Captain America movie?

The film was about them. Who they are, how they came into powers, how it impacted those around them, how they dealt with it, which eventually led to a fun and satisfying conclusion.

As great as the "Endgame" films were, they raised the stakes and the standards so high that everything released since other than the Spider-Man films seems like another retread and a let down.

Based on the box office, I'm not the only one needing a break from the Marvel movies.


Now, about those end credits. NO SPOILERS. The credits start with great animated title cards that explode with color and fun, frankly more fun than much of the movie. They lead into a scene in which a character wakes up in another universe.

I enjoyed this short sequence more than any other in the film, excited to see who popped up. Of course with all the changes at Marvel Studios, this teaser may lead nowhere, leaving that character and us stranded in another galaxy, far, far away.


Just like the first Captain Marvel film, this one earns a C.

Actually, I gave that one a C+ and I'll shoot this one a C-.

Even Vellani can't raise this above middle of the road Marvel.

Higher, Further, Faster?

How about enough already.



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