Movies with big twists can be very tricky for me. For every perfectly executed twist like "The Sixth Sense" or "Gone Girl" there are hack attempts that just leave me pissed off that I've wasted my time.
Feel free to count M. Night's "The Village" in that lot. At the big moment, I groaned out loud and said 'that is bullshit" loud enough for all the surrounding rows to hear. I've worked on my theatre etiquette since, but nothing could stop my endless exasperated sighs and eye rolling as 2019's dopey SERENITY unfolded.
I'm not going to spoil the twist for you. I SHOULD just to save you spending any money for this crap, as you'd be vastly over investing even for a .99 rental.
Matthew McConaughey is one of my favorite actors recently, but he continues his recent slump as fisherman Baker Dill. His entire life is consumed chasing a giant tuna.
I should just end the plot description there.
But this isn't Moby Dick, so I better continue.
His life of alienating his dwindling tourist customers, drinking hard all night and rising early to start over again is interrupted when his ex-wife shows up.
Karen (Anne Hathaway supplying plenty of ammunition to viewers that already think she's over the top) arrives asking Baker to kill her current husband, the philandering, violent Frank (Jason Clarke, reliably good but having to paint a very vile character).
When she ups the ante to $100 million and starts talking about how Baker needs to protect his teenage son from Frank's violent outbursts, the movie begins to lean into its strange turn.
We're supposed to be dazzled as what we learn informs everything we've seen to date, but it just left me feeling like a teenager had written the script and they had filmed the first draft.
Steven Knight has written some very good films, Brad Pitt's "Allied" and "The Girl In The Spider's Web" among them, but he's new to the director chair and it overwhelms him.
Djimon Hounsou (Blood Diamond, Amistad) is the only actor to emerge unscathed, with Diane Lane (The Cotton Club, Streets of Fire) completely wasted as a throwaway affair for Baker.
You could argue that some of the dialogue and stereotypes make more sense under the light of the second half reveals, but that same light refracts 1000 times through the plot holes, false leads and jaw dropping stupidity of the "big reveal".
What a waste of time and talent.
So damn stupid I'm still shaking my head.
Serenity gets an F.
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