When people ask me what's the worst movie I've ever seen, JAWS: THE REVENGE always comes close or wins, certainly in the worst ten movies I've ever seen.
It's one of those movies you have to watch every ten years or so just to revel in how bad it is. So why is it so bad? A few examples:
* Lorraine Gary was ok as a small player in the original 2 films, but in the lead role here is so grating, so overly dramatic, all while sporting the absolute worst hairstyle ever seen by an actress in a major film. How did she get this role? (oh yeah, she was the wife of the President of Universal Studios)
* In one scene, the giant shark chases Michael Brody through a shipwreck, inexplicably going where he goes, even though Michael has to squeeze through tiny portholes and the shark is 35 feet long. What great continuity! What great editing!
* Even Michael Caine phones it in. He's been in some awful dreck, but here you can tell he knows this is crap and he's just enjoying the Bahamas. Don't miss the scene where he swims 30 yards and comes onto the boat with dry clothes. Who was in charge on continuity on this film, Mr Magoo?
* How does the shark go nearly 3000 miles from Amity in New England to the Bahamas in just a couple weeks? Oh leave your common sense at the door, people!
* Of course, you cant talk about this waterlogged stinker without discussing the ending, in which the shark leaps out of the air and is speared on the end of the boat and then, for absolutely NO reason, explodes as if it was filled with dynamite. At least that's what I think happened. It's one of filmdom's most muddled, poorly edited, filmed and executed conclusions, so you might have to guess for yourself.
Holy Shark Balls, this is ONE HORRIBLE movie and it sinks miserably to the ocean floor with a well deserved, capital F.
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