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Every ALIEN film ranked worst 2 first



In anticipation of this Thursday's arrival of ALIEN: Romulus, we've ranked every ALIEN movie from worst to first, dropping in different posters for each along the way than you'd see in the review on our main page. You'll also find the original theatrical trailers for each film, right after the review.

No, we're not considering AVP among them, since we forgot crossovers the moment we walked out of the theater shaking our heads!

From Ridley Scott's visionary original and James Cameron's brilliant first sequel, to Fede Alvarez's much anticipated new take, the ALIEN films have been entertaining us for 45 years!

At the end of the week, we'll add ROMULUS into its rightfully earned, slimy and terrifying spot among the six (soon seven!) films.

Meanwhile, lower the lights, turn up the volume and get ready for the entire Alien saga. As I'm sure most of you would agree, the worst film in the series was......


6. Alien: Resurrection (1997)

Five years after the disappointment of Alien3, sci-fi fans were fed the most lackluster entry in the series with 1997's ALIEN RESURRECTION.

Sliding quickly down the slippery quality slope so fast it must be coated with that green alien slime, this entry takes place 200 years after Ripley died on the prison planet.

Conveniently for filmmakers, she's cloned by a group of scientists and then used as a host for an alien Queen. Because the scientists and the military are ALWAYS stupid in these movies, no matter what century they take place in, the docs think they can harvest the best pieces of the monstrous species for human good.

Right.

Brad Dourif (Dune, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest) is as oddball as ever in the opening scenes as a wacko scientist who learns quickly that you cant keep these shiny xenomorphs in any cage for long.

Sigourney Weaver is the bright spot of the film as a kick-ass, alien/human hybrid version of Ripley that you can't quite pin down as either.

Her blood sizzles nicely on the floor and her memory and strength seem super-charged. She hasn't lost her flair for one-lines either, with "They'll breed, You'll Die" leading the way.

Very predictably, a ship full of traders lands to deliver stolen folks in suspended animation for the twisted breeding process and they get stuck on the massive army freighter along with the newly grown and recently escaped alien creatures.

Among them is Winona Ryder, horribly cast and out of her depth. She's so bad that Weaver nearly blows her off the screen every time they appear together.

Ron Perlman (Hellboy) fares best, especially during his brief one-on-one basketball match against Ripley. Dan Hedeya (Commando, The Usual Suspects) has some good quiet moments when he's not channeling the drill sergeant from "Full Metal Jacket" and watch for a young Gary Dourdan who followed up this role with a 15 year stint on CSI as investigator Warrick Brown.

Director Jean-Pierre Jeunet was hailed as a visionary genius (The City of Lost Children, and I enjoyed his film Amelie) but he is a complete bust here. Think about all the fantastic visuals in Ridley Scott's "Alien". He crafted the dialogue free first ten minutes aboard the Nostromo, the descent into the alien craft, the chest-burster scene.

James Cameron brought strong visuals to "Aliens", including the massive civilian camp on the planet and the marines moving through it on every level, the jarring finale with Ripley v the Queen in the airlock.

Even David Fincher brought a fantastic opening sequence to Alien 3.

But here? Nothing.

There's not one visual here that inspires. It's all a bland interpretation of the script. Even the space shots of the massive ships seem out of focus and phoned in.

The only time the film comes to life for a few seconds is when it alludes to the previous films, with 15 seconds of Jerry Goldsmith's original score in the opening scene aboard the medical bay and the base-heavy WHOMP of a flashlight passing over the camera in tribute to the opening docking scene in "Aliens".

Boring, bland and dull, RESURRECTION is anything but. It killed the standalone Alien films and led to the moronic "Alien V Predator" films of the 2000's as Fox tried to squeeze every last dollar out of the property.

Weaver is the only thing that saves it in any measure, but even she's not enough to earn this last gasp (or so we thought!) of the series anything but a slimy D.




5. Alien 3 (1992)

James Cameron's ALIENS would be a tough act to follow for any filmmaker. David Fincher is a brilliant director in his own right, making some of the best films of the last two decades, including "Se7en", "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" and "The Social Network" to name just a few.

Early in his film career, Fincher took the reins for this 1992 sequel to Aliens, creating the third chapter in the Alien saga.

The film starts out incredibly strong.

The familiar strains of the 20th Century Fox music fanfare suddenly turns sharp and wavering, turning into dark and shrill notes.

The opening credits quickly pop between titles and staccato cuts of action aboard Ripley's escape pod in which she, Newt and Corporal Hicks escaped at the end of Aliens.

It's obvious things have gone horribly wrong, with an alien creature aboard, oozing acid and destruction.

The pod crashes to the surface of a prison planet without any women on its surface.

At that point, just five minutes in, the film starts slipping from its promising beginning into something...less.

The next half hour or so still shows flashes of greatness, especially anytime that Ripley (Sigourney Weaver, still strong) shares the screen with the mysterious doctor in the prison, Clemens.

Clemens is played by Charles Dance, a great character actor now best known as Tywin Lannister on "Game of Thrones". He is a GREAT actor and he and Weaver have strong chemistry as two lost souls finding a quick moment of solace with each other on this miserable world.

The film's best scene finds a huge Alien creature entering the medical bay with Clemens and Ripley. There are moments in that 5 minute sequence as good as any Alien film or any Fincher film.

Alas, once Dance exits the picture, it becomes a much less interesting film, with unlikable characters played by actors that insist on shouting every line, a spin on the Alien creature that is less than successful and chase scenes that grow confusing and repetitive.

Weaver does what she can with an underwritten part and no one creates dank, dark atmosphere like Fincher, but with little stake in the outcome, it quickly becomes a lesser entry in the Alien film saga.

Lance Henriksen makes a strong appearance late in the movie that Bishop fans will appreciate, but its too little too late.

That being said, it's better than the next film in the series "Alien Resurrection" that took the Fincher factor to the next level.


Third time is definitely NOT the charm for ALIEN3, which gets a shrug and a C.




Thankfully leaping far up into another galaxy in terms of execution and content, we have four excellent films:

4. Alien: Covenant (2017)

Alien fans should be very excited that Director Ridley Scott has returned to fast-moving, exciting horror sci-fi with his latest, ALIEN COVENANT.

Ranking a beyond expectations, fourth in the series for me behind James Cameron's "Aliens" and Scott's original 1979 film "Alien", COVENANT starts off strong and never lets up.

The opening flashback scene is a quiet meeting between Peter Weyland (Guy Pearce) and his android David (Michael Fassbender) as they speak about creation, intelligence, faith and the quest for knowledge.

The screen then fills with a view of space and the legendary ALIEN title appearing on screen in the same style it did in '79, over Jerry Goldsmith's original score from that film, enough to excite any true "Alien" fan. You know from that moment that Scott is going to reward long time fans of the series with references both audio and visual for the next two hours.

And those two hours move fast.

We move ten years after the events of the last film, "Prometheus".

We meet the crew of the colony ship Covenant as they are awoken seven years early by an emergency on the ship. (Do these long journeys of sleep ever go off without a hitch? Between "Planet of the Apes", "Passengers" and the nasty occurences here, I'm thinking that a long nap is the most hazardous part of the voyage!)

They are told by the onboard computer Mother (welcome back Mother!) that there is an ideal planet for colonization very nearby. Why wait seven more years when their mission can start on a beautiful, human-friendly planet nearby!

No spoiler alerts necessary, I'm not going to tell you what happens from that point forward, but suffice to say, the planet holds it's own secrets that blend perfectly into the story arc of our Alien creatures.

The last film set up a mythology in which creation began, with the creators sparking the beginning of human life and then creating a very different and terrifying life form to correct their mistakes.

COVENANT tells two stories simultaneously, the fast moving story of our colonists on a terrifying planet and the backstory of what happened on this planet between the creators and other characters in our story.

The cast is excellent.

Katherine Waterston is our new Ripley-like heroine Daniels, morphing from emotional devastation to kick-ass action star in the story.

Billy Crudup is great as Oram, thrust into a leadership role and wrestling with his faith in the face of his discoveries.

Danny McBride, who I think is the funniest guy on the planet in HBO's "Vice Principals" plays pure drama here with equal skill as crew member Tennessee.

Jussie Smollet has great screen presence as Ricks and Callie Hernandez is great as Upworth.

At the film's center in dual roles is Michael Fassbender as android David and a newer model aboard the Covenant named Walter.

He's fantastic. Menacing, compassionate, cunning and caring, you're challenged with which android is which and forced to think about their motivation. Fassbender's every move is perfect.

There are numerous fantastic action sequences, staged by Scott and his fantastic director of photography Darius Wolski (The Martian, The Walk) as big screen spectacles on an amazing scale.

Savvy long-time fans of the series will find dozens of fun references to the original ALIEN, including battles on the outside of crafts near thrusters, clever uses of the airlock, opening and closing hatches, a certain "roller coaster ride, straight down" and even that tiny toy bird on a control panel, dipping back and forth into a glass of water. Alien fans know what I'm talking about.

Jerry Goldsmith's music is referenced throughout, woven into a new and clever music score by Jed Kurzel (who cut his teeth on small films like "The Babadook" and "Slow West") that also references Marc Streitenfeld's music from "Prometheus" that I didn't even know I remembered until I heard it again.

The planet visuals are stunning on the big screen, like New Zealand on steroids and the Creator City is jaw dropping, making Pompeii pale by comparison.

Fast, intelligent, bloody scary and graphic, the alien creatures have never looked or moved better than they do with Scott's blend of mechanical effects and 2017 CGI technology.

I did have a creeping feeling as the film began to wrap up that I wished it would have unveiled a bigger part of the story arc, but as the second film in Scott's planned four film series, it's tasked with teasing you for the next two, which it does very well.

It would have also been nice to see Oram's questions about faith explored a bit more in relation to what's unveiled on the planet. Some of the dialogue between David and Weyland in the prologue is so good, it makes you wish those level of questions about life and our place in the universe were sustained throughout.

The fact that Ridley Scott continues to even address them within the framework of one of the best sci-fi/horror film series ever created, nearly 40 years after the original film, is the gift that continues to deliver.

ALIEN COVENANT is a summer movie blast, filled with gory shocks and surprises and a few laughs along the way to relieve the tension. But don't get too relaxed, there's something terrifying right around that corner ready to jump on your face.....

COVENANT gets an A-.




3. Alien: Prometheus (2012)

It's not often that a film I've anticipated seeing for so long can exceed expectations, but Ridley Scott's PROMETHEUS blew me away. WIth very fond memories of seeing the original Alien in 1979 at the original Cine Capri in Phoenix, I sat in the new Tempe Cine Capri 33 years later VERY excited as the lights went down. From it's opening prologue (fantastic photography and CGI) that heavily echoes 2001 (especially in its opening shot) to nearly its final shot, Prometheus stuns.

This is not a straight up prequel in the way that George Lucas neatly wove the last hour of "Revenge of the Sith" into the beginning of "Star Wars". Prometheus has many, many echoes of Alien but don't go in expecting too many obvious, easy tie-ins to the original. Noomi Rapace (Salander in the original Swedish "Dragon Tattoo" films) and Logan Marshall-Green are scientists that discover similar cave drawings and artifacts on Earth that point to a far away solar system and outsized alien visitors. Scott moves the film along quickly and you are soon along with them on their journey to discover the origin of these visitors. Charlize Theron provides steely support as the ranking official from Weyland Industries and Idris Elba is great as the captain of the ship. Once they land on the planet, fasten your seatbelt. There are at least five action set pieces that will blow you away, my favorite of which deals with a robotic surgery pod and a very brave patient.

Michael Fassbender is terrific as David, the crews's robot with a fascination for Peter O'Toole and "Lawrence of Arabia", its a great performance with a lot of mystery that echoes Ian Holm's 'Nash" in the original Alien. My only complaint was the very last scene, which felt tacked on and out of sync with the majesty of the last 15 minutes, but its a minor quibble compared to the 2 hours plus before that 15 seconds. This is a great film. If you are an action film or casual science fiction fan, its a treat. If you are a big fan of the Alien series and science fiction, you will be rewarded with dozens of echoes of Kubrick's 2001 and the DNA strands of the original Alien. PROMETHEUS is smart, beautiful to watch, thrilling and delivers the goods. An A by any measure. Looking forward to watching the original Alien on tonight...when its dark.......




2. Alien (1979)

The night after seeing "Prometheus" we sat down, turned off all the lights and fired up the original 1979 Ridley Scott film, ALIEN. This is classic sci-fi at its best, with excellent production design, special effects, superb music and so many now-classic sequences, they become hard to count.

I remember seeing ALIEN at the Cine Capri in Phoenix opening weekend and being blown away. At the time, the first chest bursting scene was the biggest shock on the big screen since Janet Leigh's shower murder in the first act of Hitchcock's "Psycho".

Director Ridley Scott had made one well respected film, "The Duellists" in 1977 when he helmed ALIEN. His take on a space bound horror thriller was shocking. Deliberate, character driven and mysterious, every moment was a discovery of a world we had never seen.

Many of us live and breathe the Alien universe now, but on a Friday night in 1979, it was a revelation of scares, amazing creatures we had never seen and to this day, a damn near perfect blend of practical and special effects.

The cast is perfect. Sigourney Weaver blew up as Ripley, kicking ass here in a style she would take to even greater heights in James Cameron's brilliant sequel seven years later.

Tom Skerritt (Top Gun, M*A*S*H*) is Dallas, the laid back skipper of the massive Nostromo mining vessel. No one does "everyman" like Skerritt. Harry Dean Stanton (The Green Mile) and Yaphet Kotto (Live and Let Die) are Brett and Parker, our comedy relief as two grunts just wanting their fair share.

John Hurt (Heaven's Gate, The Elephant Man) is unforgettable as Kane, the first victim of a face hugger. The famous dinner scene was shot with the actors not knowing what to expect when Kane comes down with the worst case of heartburn on record. The look of shock on Veronica Cartwright's face as Lambert is real, accented by a LOT of unexpected stage blood.

When that moment happened in the theater opening night in 1979, the crowd screamed and then fell into a shocked silence, followed by one guy the row ahead of me muttering, "Holy Shit.." which bust the entire audience up. We all needed a laugh to find our footing.

From that moment forward, Ridley grabs you by the throat and never lets go.

Ian Holm (The Lord of the Rings, Brazil) completes the cast as Ash, the only crew member who seems unrattled by the carnage around him. I wonder why.......

Jerry Goldsmith delivers one of his all time best music scores. From the atonal, haunting violins over the main title to the full orchestra meltdown during "The Recovery", his music has a starring role in elevating the scares.

Did you know that casting Ripley came down to two actresses and the other one was Meryl Streep? Hard to picture anyone but Sigourney in the role. Harrison Ford turned down Skerritt's role as Captain Dallas as well.

The alien design by HR Giger is flawless. The way that Scott and the set designers made the Alien part of the set design is incredible. Only on second and third viewings do you see the Alien, right there, waiting for its moment.

Many of the scenes take on new meaning after seeing Prometheus. The only draw back is wondering why all the hardware, spacesuits and surroundings are SO low tech here, when it takes place years after the events in the slick, fantastic digital world of Prometheus. Of course the answer is that the movie making tools Ridley had to play with in 2012 dwarf what he had to create Alien in 1979.

Make sure and check out the Director's Cut of Alien for some great new scenes and subtle effects by Scott.

An all-time favorite, ALIEN gets an A, only because James Cameron's sequel ALIENS is an all time top 10 favorite and emerges as slightly superior to the original.

Check out the original, legendary trailer below, from the summer of 1979.


and finally, for me, the best Aliens film ever made was the 1986 James Cameron sequel that holds a spot in my all-time top ten films of any genre...


1. Aliens (1986)

One of the best sci-fi horror thriller films of all time, one of the best sequels in cinema history James Cameron’s ALIENS is a fantastic thrill ride of a movie. Thirty years later, it’s just as incredible!

As the film opens, Ripley’s escape craft from the Nostromo is drifting in space, where a salvage crew finds her, wakes her our of many years of sleep and throws her right back into action.

In the many years Ripley was sleeping, many families and workers have colonized the remote desolate planet where her crew found the Alien in the original film.

They’ve just gone silent after discovering the same ship that was Kane’s downfall in the original film.

Writer/Director James Cameron sends Ripley back with an entire squad of marines, a massive ship full of weapons and the best technology available. But will that matter when they face off against hordes of the acid dripping, double jawed, huge creatures with a driving desire to plant their eggs in our chests? Doubtful, but so much fun.

Cameron cleverly sets up second act battles with first act intelligence. He creates a terrific band of marines with unique personalities, from the badass Vasquez (Jenette Goldstein) to the sniveling, but hilarious coward Hudson (Bill Paxton), first time Lieutenant Gorman (William Hope) to the classic, cigar chewing Apone (Al Matthews). 80’s stalwart Michael Biehn is terrific as Corporal Hicks, who never fails to rise to the occasion in this all out war.

Throw in a corporate tool with ulterior motives, Burke (well played against type by Paul Reiser) and another android names Bishop (Lance Henricksen) that Ripley is terrified to trust and you’ve got a terrific cast of characters.

When the marines discover a little girl nicknamed Newt (Carrie Henn) in the madness of the civilian compound, she becomes the driving force for Ripley to survive and protect against an unrelenting alien force.

As Ripley, Sigourney Weaver is a home run. Believable, a kick-ass action hero and a born leader, Ripley is one of the best screen heroines of all time and this is, by far, the best film the character’s been featured in to date.

Once Cameron sets up the basics very quickly, the film never stops, literally slowing down only long enough for us to breathe between suspenseful alien encounters.

Cameron’s genius is blending a classic war movie with science fiction and action to create something we hadn’t seen before in 1984. Ridley Scott’s original “Alien” in 1979 is terrific, but ALIENS is that rare sequel that I would argue is even better, taking the ponderous, slow style of Ridley (which I love) and infusing it with massive amounts of adrenaline and conflict.

Classic moments abound.

Classic one-liners fill the movie.

“Why don’t you put her in charge!”

“ They mostly come at night….mostly….”

“ Game over, man! Game over!”

“Hey, maybe you haven’t been keeping up on current events, but we just got our asses kicked pal!”

and of course the best, ‘Get away from her, you bitch!” That inspired huge applause when I originally saw this in the theatre and still gets us all riled up in that climactic moment.

What a great movie. Great story telling, fantastic sets and creature work, excellent sound, superb visual effects, one of James Horner’s best music scores and James Cameron at his absolute best, ALIENS is an all time classic of any genre and in my all-time top 10.

ALIENS stands as the best film in the series and one of the best films ever. It gets an A+.

Where will Romulus land?

High Hopes, we'll find out Thursday! Meanwhile, here's a peak at why we Alien fans are so excited...



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