Christine

What do you get when you take one of the best horror writers of all time, Stephen King and hand one of his best selling novels to classic horror director John Carpenter (Halloween, Escape from New York, The Thing)?

Well, we got 1983's CHRISTINE.

Keith Gordon (Dressed to Kill) stars as nerdy high schooler Arnie Cunningham, target of all bullies and friends only with football star Dennis (John Stockwell).

When Arnie finds an old wreck of a '57 Plymouth Fury in a hillbilly's yard, he buys it and takes it to a nearby garage, where he begins the greatest romance of his life, with the car.

Christine has a few supernatural options installed, including the ability to regenerate herself from any damage, a thirst for revenge and an unending series of 50's songs from the radio that tend to fit the current action.

Where the book kicked into action nearly immediately, the film takes a long time to get going and only truly kicks into gear when Christine's in her shiny red, new tail fin glory with a thirst for blood.

The films cast is comprised of profane, nasty people, from the garage owner to Arnie's parents, to the creeps that torment Arnie, to Arnie himself as the car begins to change him into a very different person.

Gordon is a quirky actor and never a favorite of mine. Here and in films like "Jaws 2", "Dressed to Kill" he plays so big its distracting, but he was damn likable as Rodney Dangerfield's son in "Back to School".

Keith did become a GREAT director, including many episodes of "Dexter", "The Strain" and "Fargo".

Harry Dean Stanton brings some much needed goodness to his role as a police detective and Alexandra Paul is all shoulder pads and goodness as Arnie's girlfriend that Christine is very unhappy with.

Carpenter creates some very good action and suspense scenes during Christine's pursuit of her enemies and the final showdown is well staged, but he's hampered by Bill Phillips screenplay that repeats much of King's dialogue without ANY of his storytelling talents, leaving it flailing on screen as profane and awkward.

The special effects are pretty good, the score by Carpenter is fine, but this is definitely one of Carpenter's weaker films.

CHRISTINE never manages to fire on even half its cylinders and gets a C.